The end of a pilgrimage but the journey continues

Today was our last full day in England. Tomorrow morning we will load up on the bus and head to Heathrow Airport and back to the states we go. Personally this trip has made a significant impact on my life. This pilgrimage has opened my eyes to the depth of the church and spirituality that exists within my denomination but within the church as a whole. Today a quote has been swirling around my head as I thought about what I have seen over the past week.

Malcolm Muggeridge was an English journalist who wrote many books and articles. In 1985 he gave a speech which the following quote was adapted from. In one of Ravi Zacharias' sermons he complied Muggeridges words,

"As we look back upon history what do we see? Empires rising and falling, revolutions and counter revolutions, wealth accumulated and wealth dispersed. Shakespeare has spoken of the rise and fall of great ones that ebb and flow with the moon. I heard a crazed cracked Austrian announce to the world the establishment of a German Reich that would last a thousand years. I have seen an Italian clown saying he was going to stop and restart the calendar with his own ascension to power. I have seen America more wealthier and in terms of military weaponry more powerful then the rest of the world put together that if they so desired they could have out done a Caesar or an Alexander in the range and scale of their conquest.

Hitler and Mussolini dead remembered only in infamy, stalin is a forbidden name in the regime he helped found and dominate for some three decades. America is haunted by fears of running out of the precious fluids that keeps their motorways roaring and the smog settling. All in one lifetime, all in one lifetime, all gone with the wind.

Behind the debris of the fallings of solemn supermen and imperial diplomatists lies the gigantic figure of one person, because of whom, by whom , in whom, and through whom, mankind may still survive, the person of Jesus Christ."

This quote I memorized a few years ago and I think, now I understand why. I saw the destruction and rebuilding of castles, the rise and fall of kings, the dismantling of spiritual heads of the church to be replaced by political ones. I have seen shrines to spiritual leaders in churches and cathedrals all across england. The one constant through all of the tumultuous history is Jesus, what he stood for was love, what he wanted was unity, and what he did was sacrifice. The images of Jesus on the cross was everywhere I looked, and the words of scripture written on walls and shrines and tombstones at each turn. Muggeridge's words, "because of whom, by whom, in whom, and through whom mankind may still survive" echoes so loud in my mind.

As I head back to the states, back to work, and back to daily living my hope is this journey will not fade from my memory. I want to continue seeking as I did through this trip, I want to remember why I pray, read, attend church, and meditate. I want to stay focused on understanding more of Jesus wants me to live and the opportunities to live that out. I want to continue my study of scripture and history. I thank God and St. Paul's Episcopal Church in Delray Beach for this opportunity.

To Be a Pilgrim

Today we are off to Canterbury. I know this place solely because of the name and stories I read in college. Canterbury Tales has been read for centuries by children and adults. The truth is these stories were told while Pilgrims traveled Canterbury to visit the shrine to the "holy blissful Martyr" Thomas Becket. My wife has tattooed on her wrist "every journey is a pilgrimage" and the idea of journey has been a constant in the last 10 years. To journey is to travel in some way to some place, but not necessarily physical. Sometimes our journey is happening internally. We have a spiritual journey that coincides with our physical lives. We are consistently moving somewhere both physically and spiritually.

This particular physical journey the last week has been mostly a spiritual one as well. To imagine myself worshipping in these gigantic cathedrals, walking these roads, and sleeping in a castle that so many have done before so long ago and has struck me on a spiritual level. God presence in my life, Gods presence in these places of worship, Gods presence on this spiritual journey has been felt and longed after for quite some time. I have always had a desire to seek God, even in my darkest times of self-destruction I have sought God. I always knew deep down somewhere that God was present in my life but I didn't know how to have a relationship with him. I did not know how to build that relationship, I did not know how to cultivate a relationship that would allow me to feel and know his presence.

This past week I have seen places of worship, ancient castles, unexplainable stones, and heard some of the most majestic hymns that struck a chord deep within me now understanding that God is present and God has always been present and that God will always be present. I am responsible to listen for him and trust that he is there. I am responsible to be open to the movement of Gods spirit in me and allow me to let go and let God. To be a pilgrim is to journey somewhere in hopes to find that meaning and purpose of existence, worship, and adulation. This pilgrimage of this past week has been that for me. I hope that it can continue among the chaos and pressures of everyday life and work. A true pilgrim, which I hope to be, will see those as just that work and pressure but not the purpose and meaning of my life.

Celebrating LIfe

Today we are off to Stonehenge. This site has been visited for thousands of years and continues to be one of the most visited sites to this day. Our reflection for the day is on seeing the divine in and around us. They say that the veil between heaven and earth is very thin at this site. They say that looking upon the ancient monument sends shivers down your spine and makes the hair on your arms stand up. What is incredible is that the veil between heaven and earth is also thin when we gaze upon each other. If we are created in the image and likeness of God then divine can be seen in each other. God has allowed us to see himself in all of us, but do we treat each other as if that were true.

We are told by Jesus that we are to love God and love others as we love ourselves. We are to treat other how we want to be treated. When Jesus walked this earth as some of us believe, according to the accounts of his life he went around healing and encouraging almost everyone he came in contact with. He talked about forgiveness, he spoke about acceptance, he preached about not judging others and to remove the log from our own eye before we removed the splinter from our brothers. I often ask myself if I am living that way. Am I living as if the person right next to me had the imprint of God himself. Am I treating others as Jesus treated others. Am I celebrating the very existence of life in other and in myself.

Yesterday I wrote about forgiveness, today I write about the acceptance of forgiveness and the celebration that follows when I have accepted that forgiveness. Joy comes to the heart when the reality of my freedom and forgiveness permeates my inner soul, my inner heart of understanding. I should be celebrating the fact that the person next to me shares in that same forgiveness and joy. Am I letting others know about that reality? Shouldn't I be standing from the mountaintop exclaiming to the world that they are forgiven, and all that we need to do is acknowledge that forgiveness to feel the joy and freedom that follows?

Today this is what I will do. I am, right now, letting anyone that reads this know that they are forgiven, that they are free, and that God has imprinted himself in them and Christ has taught all to live with the attitude of humility and acceptance.

Forgiveness

Over the last 6 days I have been traveling with a group from St. Pauls Episcopal Church through England learning about the history of the Anglican Church. It has been a wonderfully fulfilling trip. The history of the church throughout England has been tulmultuous yet inspiring. We have seen beautiful cathedrals and landmarks that catapult us through time. Today is our 6th day here and today's focus for our daily reflection is forgiveness. We are visiting Coventry Cathedral which in World War II was bombed and all that was left was a shell and a spire. The city Coventry was probably targeted due to its high volume of armaments, munitions, aircraft, and aero-engine plants. Today the words "Father forgive" are carved in stone behind the alter of the mediaeval cathedral and the cathedral has been a center of prayer and world peace.

Forgiveness is a touchy subject and one that is not often talked about. I remember the words of Jesus when he was talking about a woman who was cleaning his feet. He said, "Those who are forgiven much love much and those who are forgiven little love little. When I think about my life and the many people I have hurt and the many people who had to live through my self-destructive path, I can't help think how much I have been forgiven. When I think about the many times I have felt the forgiveness of God and believed the forgiveness of God, I feel blessed but also guilt because I have a difficult time forgiving those who have offended me also the many times I have not forgiven myself. Forgiveness of self is one of the most difficult things to do. I often deal with this same concept with my clients. If we believe that God has forgiven us and that he would forgive us, what makes us think that we shouldn't forgive ourselves.

God is ultimate authority and when we don't forgive ourselves we are essentially saying that we know better than God. I am reminded of Dallas Willard when he says, "The greatest saints are not those who need less grace, but those who consume the most grace, those who are most in need of grace, who entire beings are saturated by grace, grace to them is like breath." God has reached out his loving hand to us and has told us in order to love you must experience the grace and forgiveness of the father. Our response is to accept this forgiveness and live as if we are forgiven. A few years ago an Amish school building was shot up by a belligerent man. School children were killed and injured. The Amish in response publicly announced that they forgive the man who did it because they believed that Christ would forgive him. If entire people groups and God himself can forgive, why can't I? What stops me from forgiving myself for my wrongdoings? Is it my ego? Is it my pride? Do I think that I am above wrongdoing and so therefore beat myself up when I do wrong?

This is a question that I plan on pondering for the day. I am hopeful that I will begin the process of forgiving myself and in turn being able to love how Christ loved. I hope that I can experience and accept the grace of God that is so freely given.