Celebrating LIfe

Today we are off to Stonehenge. This site has been visited for thousands of years and continues to be one of the most visited sites to this day. Our reflection for the day is on seeing the divine in and around us. They say that the veil between heaven and earth is very thin at this site. They say that looking upon the ancient monument sends shivers down your spine and makes the hair on your arms stand up. What is incredible is that the veil between heaven and earth is also thin when we gaze upon each other. If we are created in the image and likeness of God then divine can be seen in each other. God has allowed us to see himself in all of us, but do we treat each other as if that were true.

We are told by Jesus that we are to love God and love others as we love ourselves. We are to treat other how we want to be treated. When Jesus walked this earth as some of us believe, according to the accounts of his life he went around healing and encouraging almost everyone he came in contact with. He talked about forgiveness, he spoke about acceptance, he preached about not judging others and to remove the log from our own eye before we removed the splinter from our brothers. I often ask myself if I am living that way. Am I living as if the person right next to me had the imprint of God himself. Am I treating others as Jesus treated others. Am I celebrating the very existence of life in other and in myself.

Yesterday I wrote about forgiveness, today I write about the acceptance of forgiveness and the celebration that follows when I have accepted that forgiveness. Joy comes to the heart when the reality of my freedom and forgiveness permeates my inner soul, my inner heart of understanding. I should be celebrating the fact that the person next to me shares in that same forgiveness and joy. Am I letting others know about that reality? Shouldn't I be standing from the mountaintop exclaiming to the world that they are forgiven, and all that we need to do is acknowledge that forgiveness to feel the joy and freedom that follows?

Today this is what I will do. I am, right now, letting anyone that reads this know that they are forgiven, that they are free, and that God has imprinted himself in them and Christ has taught all to live with the attitude of humility and acceptance.

Forgiveness

Over the last 6 days I have been traveling with a group from St. Pauls Episcopal Church through England learning about the history of the Anglican Church. It has been a wonderfully fulfilling trip. The history of the church throughout England has been tulmultuous yet inspiring. We have seen beautiful cathedrals and landmarks that catapult us through time. Today is our 6th day here and today's focus for our daily reflection is forgiveness. We are visiting Coventry Cathedral which in World War II was bombed and all that was left was a shell and a spire. The city Coventry was probably targeted due to its high volume of armaments, munitions, aircraft, and aero-engine plants. Today the words "Father forgive" are carved in stone behind the alter of the mediaeval cathedral and the cathedral has been a center of prayer and world peace.

Forgiveness is a touchy subject and one that is not often talked about. I remember the words of Jesus when he was talking about a woman who was cleaning his feet. He said, "Those who are forgiven much love much and those who are forgiven little love little. When I think about my life and the many people I have hurt and the many people who had to live through my self-destructive path, I can't help think how much I have been forgiven. When I think about the many times I have felt the forgiveness of God and believed the forgiveness of God, I feel blessed but also guilt because I have a difficult time forgiving those who have offended me also the many times I have not forgiven myself. Forgiveness of self is one of the most difficult things to do. I often deal with this same concept with my clients. If we believe that God has forgiven us and that he would forgive us, what makes us think that we shouldn't forgive ourselves.

God is ultimate authority and when we don't forgive ourselves we are essentially saying that we know better than God. I am reminded of Dallas Willard when he says, "The greatest saints are not those who need less grace, but those who consume the most grace, those who are most in need of grace, who entire beings are saturated by grace, grace to them is like breath." God has reached out his loving hand to us and has told us in order to love you must experience the grace and forgiveness of the father. Our response is to accept this forgiveness and live as if we are forgiven. A few years ago an Amish school building was shot up by a belligerent man. School children were killed and injured. The Amish in response publicly announced that they forgive the man who did it because they believed that Christ would forgive him. If entire people groups and God himself can forgive, why can't I? What stops me from forgiving myself for my wrongdoings? Is it my ego? Is it my pride? Do I think that I am above wrongdoing and so therefore beat myself up when I do wrong?

This is a question that I plan on pondering for the day. I am hopeful that I will begin the process of forgiving myself and in turn being able to love how Christ loved. I hope that I can experience and accept the grace of God that is so freely given.

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice Practice Practice... These are the words that are echoing in my mind every day. I need to practice self control, I need to practice love, I need to practice mediation, I need to practice exercise, I need to practice eating healthy, I need to practice reading, I need to practice sleeping, I need to practice practice practice, but why? Why are these things so important? Why is practice necessary for the things listed above?

The reason for practice is so that one can get better at something. I remember this going back to my days of playing baseball. Just before our season would start the coach would call and say that we are going to start practicing two days a week in order to get ready for the season. Each practice we would hit, run, throw, learn signs, and go over scenarios so that we would be prepared if they happened in a game. Since I was one of the pitchers, the catcher and I would go over our own signs for each pitch that I threw. I remember I was 14 or 15 and our team had a new coach. As a kid having a new coach was always hard. You never knew what kind of coach he would be and whether he would be hard (which isn't bad) or too soft (which is bad) on the team. Well this coach and his style is forever etched into my memory. He may not realize but he made such a lasting impression on me. He took time teaching me very important skills about pitching a baseball. I remember one day he was teaching me how to throw from the stretch, which is used when someone is on base, over and over and over again. He would practice the same thing until the whole team go it down. He helped me understand that importance of practice and what the results can be. That year our team won the championship and I received the M.V.P plaque. If it was not for this coach pushing us to practice everyday and not give in to our tiredness or youthful immaturity in not understanding why we kept doing the same thing, we would not have been able to win that year. This coach seemed to understand the reason why practicing was so important and necessary to be successful. If he ever reads this I want him to know that he has always been someone I looked up to.

In trying to become more like Jesus I need to practice the things that he lived out each day. I have tried to become more focused on his teachings and his actions in order to put others before myself, take good care of myself, and spend more time listening to what God has to say to me. How have I done? If I honestly critique the last couple of weeks in practicing more of this Jesus lifestyle... well... Its been ok, maybe a 40/60 split with Jesus at 40 and the rest of the time 60. I will be practicing, waking up early, reading, meditating, exercising, loving, eating healthy, and going to bed earlier each day, sometimes I will fail, I did not win every game I pitched but when I did lose I did not let that stop me. Even to this day I play old mans softball because of the love I have for the game, I will now show my love for Jesus by practicing and living a life that mirrors his.

Life is Fragile

I wake this morning with the gruesome images of the fatal accident Teresa and I witnessed flashing through my mind. Yesterday started as a gloriously beautiful day filled with fun and relaxation. We walked around the our town and took in the sun and sights of a bustling little city near the sea. We had a wonderful healthful lunch poolside as our dogs enjoyed the water and the rawhide meat sticks. We planned on attending a movie at The Palace Theatre in Boca Raton, we even splurged and bought balcony extra large seat seating. All day we talked of our decision to move to South Florida and how thankful we were for things falling into place after our daring decision to up and move 1200 miles away from home. It was such a pleasant day and we looked forward to a wonderful evening at the movies.

At around 5:46 pm we were on our way to the theatre and stopped at a red light heading west towards the movie theatre. Off to the left of us three people were riding their bikes east towards the ocean. In a flash a car traveling at a high speed south flew through the intersection and all of a sudden we heard screeching tires, saw white smoke, and heard a large crash as if two cars collided. We saw something fly into the air and hit the ground. I looked over at Teresa and she said, "that was a person." I jumped out of the car and pulled out my cell phone and started running towards the body that lay lifeless in the middle of the road. I am connected with the local police and they start asking questions, "Is the person breathing? Who is screaming in the background? Can you tell me the license plate number of the car? Chris I am going to need you to take control of the situation until the police arrive!" During the questioning by the police officer I was running back and forth, checking the body, getting the license plate number, telling cars to pull off the road and staring at my wife as we stand next to a seemingly dead body and hearing the screams of a young woman "my husbands dead! He's my whole world! What am I going to do now? Oh my God, Oh my God, no no please don't die!" At that moment a man on bicycle rides up and he is an ER doctor and he is checking his pulse and from the looks of the doctor he could not find one. At that moment the police arrive and a few moments later the paramedics. The police ask all of us to move to the side since we are witnesses, they are going to need our statements. The rest of the night was filled with retelling the story to different investigators and signing witness statements.

Unfortunately this is not the first time I was the first on scene during a fatal accident. During one of my drives to Florida with a friend of mine and my father, we witnessed a car flipping in the middle of the air heading north on I-95. We immediately pulled to the middle of the median and ran to the scene as I called 911 from my cell phone. As I reached the vehicle explaining to the dispatcher where the accident happened I saw one woman in the passenger seat moaning in agony from the pain she said she was having. As I focused my eyes to the driver I realized that this woman driving had lost her life as her body lay limp and her eyes open but nothing was present. Two other people were ejected from the car and as I explain again to the dispatcher the scene of the accident he explains that the two ejected need to be held down so they do not hurt themselves more by moving. Holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder I hold the man down by pressing on his chest and softly saying, "sir please don't move, help is on the way." After the paramedics showed up I went back over to the car and the lady who was moaning in pain asked if I could call her son who was graduating college that day and let him know that she was in a car accident. This was not something that I really wanted to do but I felt that it would only be right if I did. I called this young man and let him know, I informed him of the location and he thanked me and I hung up. Moments later we got back in our car and continued to drive south towards our destination. I can still see the whole accident in my mind as if it just happened.

Last nights traumatic event leaves me with many existential questions. It also leaves me realizing how fragile life is. In just an instant so many people were affected by a single incident. A wife is now a widow, a driver is now a killer, 8 other people, including Teresa and I, are witnesses of a gruesome death that will forever stay with us. Why? All the little events that brought together a group of people to that location at that time is certainly unexplainable. I could sit for hours and try to find an answer for my question of why but in reality I am sure I will never know. What I can do is look at what the incident has taught me or showed me or enlightened me about life.

As I think about that young woman who lost her husband in an instant, I realize how it is so necessary to cherish every moment with my wife. Unfortunately tomorrow isn't promised to us and so for today I will cherish her love, her smile, her laughter, her compassion, her passion. I will take advantage of the moments that we have together and give her all my love at each moment.

As the image above says, Life is Fragile Handle with Prayer, I have made a decision even before last night to spend more time in prayer. I pray for the safety of my family but I also pray for me to love my wife to the fullest. This morning I pray for the family of the young man who left his body last night and entered into eternity. I pray for the witnesses who will forever have the horrid pictures tattooed into their memories, I pray for the driver who will have the guilt of killing an innocent man.

LOVE... Who needs it anyway...?

Love... so tricky, loaded, confusing, and hurtful yet, beautiful, breathtaking, desirous, and life changing. Love is one of those words that is not said enough but it is also said too much. We use the word to describe the woman or man who has found a way to alter your entire perception of the world but, in the same breath we will use the word to describe our favorite candy at the movie theatre. Love has been used as the reason to feed millions of homeless starving children around the world, yet its often used as an excuse to murder an entire family. Churches and religious people describe themselves as a light to show the world the love of God and then some will turn around and condemn an entire group of people without a second thought.

So really what is love and do we really need it?

Honestly the first thing I think of when I think of love is Jesus. Yesterday we talked about living as he lived and when we read about Jesus we see that he lived his live lovingly. He would hang around the people that others deemed inappropriate, dirty, less than human. Somebody actually stated that he was a drunk because of all the parties and dinners he went to with this grimy people. Jesus always showed love and right there, I think, is the definition of love.

Love is action, love is movement, love is letting go of self, love is putting others before you, love is getting rid of pride and surrendering yourself to someone else. Love is often defined as a feeling, its the butterflies in your stomach or the mesmerizing state when you see that person that takes your breath away. All these reactions to someone or something are valid and true but I just have a hard time believing that it is love. Love is determined by a decision. We decide that we are going to love. Some would even say that when you have a child you automatically love that child. This is, again, untrue, every mother makes a decision to love that child it does not automatically happen. The reason I know this is because if you look around and listen to the news you see people doing terrible things to their children. I just heard a story about a woman who beat her child to death but just to make sure she held that child under water for a few minutes. Does it seem that that mother automatically loved her child or did she make a decision to not love the child? This again leads me to believe that love is action and its a decision we make.

So why make the decision to love? Do we need love to survive? I am a firm believer that making a choice to love is something that keeps the human race going. There is so much hate in the world and if there was no love I don't believe I would be even able to sit here and type what I am typing, we probably would have been extinct a long time ago. The action of love that Jesus showed the world during his short life on earth is something that I want to know more about. How did he find it in his heart and his hands to love certain people. I mean if we look at the story of his life and death closely, he went around helping so many people and in the end most wanted him dead. He would go from village to village allowing the children to come to him, he would sit and eat and talk with the people most would turn away from. He told stories to people helping them to understand the importance of love and living that decision of love out in your everyday life.

Love... Who needs it? I do! I must make a conscious decision each day to love those around me. I must be willing to put others needs before myself. I must be willing to go beyond the conventional understandings of love and preserve its true meaning by living a life of love.